Well, to be honest, my life has been pretty routine lately so there really isn't much of interest to report. I stay up way too late, wake up in the afternoon, and usually waste most of my day on the couch. It's sort of like depression but more by choice. I've also been baking. A lot. (Not good for the waistline).
Now, on to more important issues. Which are definitely happier ones.
Today was probably my first productive day in a long time, probably also the reason why I'm updating the blog. As soon as I woke up I was doing important things. I reapplied to university, which I should hear from them very shortly since I'm doing the application for readmission. I also translated my resume from English to French in order to apply for a job that will be starting in a week's time. It's only 20hrs a week, but I'll be making enough money to save up a little bit more and pay down my credit card bill.
I've also had a bit of an epiphany tonight, which is a HUGE step forward in the realm of dealing with my depression. It's a very simple realization and I certainly hope that it stays with me for a very long time.
I have an awesome life.
Right now, at this point in my life, I have finally figured out that my life is awesome. I don't know if it's because I'm at home for a while or because of other reasons but I enjoy this current outlook and I intend to embrace it with open arms. I live in one of the most advanced times in the history of our known universe. I was lucky enough to be born in an awesome country. My parents are incredibly supportive in anything I want to do with myself. While I am not a perfect person, I'm damn-well better than I tend to give myself credit for. I am the result of millions of years of evolution, thousands of different people have gone into my creation and since I'm living and breathing, apparently there's something right about me.
This is the best feeling I've had in a long time.
On to real business then, as I had previously mentioned, in this post I'm going to talk about my expectations for this new year (even though a month is almost gone). A few of these expectations intercept with the reasons why I'm currently on my sabbatical. This might be very long, so I'm just warning you now.
- My first expectation is for a full back pain recovery. It's the main reason that I'm currently sitting in my room at home writing this rather than in a dorm. Pretty straight forward.
- I want to eat healthier this year. My eating habits are absolutely horrid, I don't eat enough, I eat too much, I eat the wrong stuff, I eat too late, etc. This has really got to change if my next expectation is going to work. I think I have started a bit of a plan on how to get this ball rolling though and I think my mom can even appreciate it.
- My third expectation is that I will get in shape. If you've been watching "The Biggest Loser" this new season is all about no excuses, now while the contestants on the show are still full of excuses I see that I have about the next 7 months of my life where I can have free reign over what I do and I need to dedicate little time to things like homework right now (for the time being anyway). So as long as my back is feeling alright, I should be doing all I can to reach that goal (it's not an excuse if I physically can't move without pain... yes, my back is that bad).
- My next one is to get some distance courses done. This would happen so much faster if I got re-accepted to my university so that way I didn't have to jump through hurdles. I would like to be able to return to school without needing a 30credit courseload. A 24 credit one would be ideal. Which means I would have to take 12 credits while I'm off, which can be two to four courses. I have to do at least 6 credits, I have no choice but to do 6 otherwise I'll be behind again.
- The fifth expectation for this year, is to save as much money as possible. I always need more money when I don't have it and that's why my visa balance is so damn high right now. I really need to get that job I applied for in order to ease some of my monetary worries for now. Hopefully when the summer comes, I can find a job that pays a little more or when my back starts feeling better I might be able to get a second job.
- I want to get in contact with people I've lost touch with. Maybe it's been a few months since I've last talked or a few years. I miss some people in my life and would greatly like them back in my life. I figure since I'm home, this will be the time to get back together with some of my high school friends. My only fear of this is that we've all too greatly grown apart and simply can't relate anymore. Either way, it would be nice to have friends again.
- To just have a good year! Maybe I'll discover new things about myself. Maybe I'll get to do a little light traveling, see my favourite band in concert again or just learn to love myself a bit more. I hope that this year is much better than my last one and that it's even better than the one before that. I hope I meet new people, make new friends and just be a better person.
