Back Home

I'm now back home safely, today was my first whole day home since early November. It was a pretty good day, fairly lazy but that's what makes being home so good. I just have to make sure that I don't get too much into the habit of not getting anything productive done at all. But, to be honest, I can't really expect the moon from myself right now since I'm just starting a recovery path from some pretty major depression. I feel a lot more comfortable at home and since I always have people around it's a lot easier to not feel depressed, whereas at school, I could go almost a week without serious interaction with other people. That doesn't mean that my depression will go away though, because I had the same thing happen to me last April. I felt better for a while, then just went back into the same fits that I was having while at school.

Either way, until Christmas is over, I'm on a mental health break as well as the physical health break. I'm just going to take it easy, get into shape and hopefully when I get back to university in September, I'll not only feel better but I'll look better. I'm really hoping to do big things with this time off from school. I want to get at least 12 credit hours (so that I won't be needing to take a full course-load when I get back), I want to get my bad back fixed, my eyes fixed (because they've been doing terrible things for the last month) and get into shape, maybe lose some unwanted pounds. I just want to feel good and feel better about myself. No, this isn't going to turn into a diet blog, but I might give you guys some updates about how well I'm doing with that. I want to use the next 8 months to figure out what I want to do with myself, what I need to do to get there and find what makes me happy because I really don't know what does anymore.

Tomorrow afternoon, I have a fit-in appointment with my doctor. I intend to talk to him about seeing a specialist about my eyes, I want to get my back x-rayed and possibly get an MRI for my back. I also need to get the doctor's note that he made for the dean's office because student loan is going to be looking for a copy. I really want to know what's wrong with it so that way I can fix it. The last time I saw him, he said that we might not see anything on an x-ray or an MRI, so I wasn't really bothered with not looking for an appointment since I was going to be heading back to school and it's difficult to make it back and forth for appointments since school is two and a half hours away. Now that I'm home, I plan to be getting as many appointments as I need, because I'm going to be close and I can do that now. My back, if it doesn't get better might need surgery, which is not a wonderful idea, but if I need it, it's best that I have lots of time to get better from it. I'll survive somehow, I know I will.

So this month being my mental health break, I don't really plan on getting right into distance courses. I think what I really need the most right now is a nice break from brain usage. I'm going to enjoy the Christmas season, playing with the dog and cuddling my cats to death. I will be getting ready for the coursework that is yet to come, like picking out the courses I want to take and maybe putting in an application for the university I want to take them from (although that probably won't move very far till January). I'm just really not worried too much about that stuff right now because it's only the beginning.

For now really, I'm going to do some more unpacking, probably reorganize my room since nothing has moved for years, decorate by putting my posters up since they're not staying rolled up for the next 8 months, I would never get them back up properly... And definitely get ready for Christmas and New Year's. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get out a bit and see some friends this Christmas season. It'll be nice to see the people I love dearly but haven't seen in forever.

That's about all for now, we'll just have to see what adventures I have tomorrow.